Author: ladyquirky

Learning to live life as an adventure.

Why is this here? 

~ ladyquirky ~ 5 Comments

 So, the new job. There is an on call room and obviously it includes a bathroom. I have been here for 6 weeks and this stool has been sitting in front of the toilet the entire time!
I have a lot of questions.

  1. Why is no one concerned about this?
  2. Do they think it is normal to have a stool in front of the toilet?
  3. What purpose could this stool be serving?
  4. Who put this stool here?
  5. Why is it still here?
  6. I can’t imagine having someone join you in the bathroom at work, so why the extra seating?
  7. Although that is the only door that locks…. Ew. Nevermind.
  8. Do some people recline while on the toilet? Seems strange.
  9. Why the hell is this stool here?

These are just some of the things bothering me at the moment.

Busy saving lives.

PS: I really need someone to move this stool. I wonder if I should move it. It doesn’t look heavy. I wonder where I would put it. Would someone put it back? I would die at that point. Eh. I’ll leave it there. Someone else can worry about it.

Tinder Nightmares

~ ladyquirky ~ 9 Comments

Okay. I am not trying to be mean, but let’s talk about this.  Below you will find a small selection of horrifying Tinder Pics. I am hoping some of these are jokes or even just hopelessly inept dudes who cannot figure out the simplest App ever.

So, Tinder seems to get into trends. One day all the guys are holding up their fish and the next day there are tons of weird animal pics. There was one guy with 6 photos, and there were a total of 11 different animals in those photos. It was just odd.

I got it! We should have PET TINDER! You could show photos of your animals, then you could set up “dates.” I have to get started on this. I feel confident this is one of my better ideas. Probably better than getting on Tinder myself. Ugh. 

Let’s go over what makes a good photo.

  • Smile! Look pleasant! Stop looking like a serial killer. You don’t look tough, you just look like an asshole.
  • Clothing would be nice.
  • Photo should not obscure every distinguishing feature you have.
  • Every photo is a group shot? Which one are you?
  • Why does your age say 38, and yet you look 12? (Not me being obnoxious about your age, it is really a photo of an actual child.)
  • If you skip leg day, don’t pose shirtless and flexing. It just makes your legs look like toothpicks that may snap under your overly eager upper body.
  • Duck Face? On a guy? No!
  • Obviously lying about your age? Not hot. We don’t fall for it either.

 

I really need for Naked Horse Guy to be a joke. This is just disturbing on too many levels. What on earth is wrong with you? None of the photos on his profile were any less disturbing or any more flattering. How can you have zero ability to tell a photo is not a good picture? We all have photos we hate of ourselves. We get frozen in time with weird expressions or from an awkward angle. I can really not come up with a good reason for this man to be posing topless next to this innocent horse.

I feel oddly torn by this profile. He loves cats. I love cats. He obviously likes books, rock & roll, and SOUL DJ? He just has weird tastes in photos. He could actually turn out to be interesting. Too bad his photos did not get better. Just a few normal, smiling photos would be nice.

Oh. My. I thought there was an animal. It was just an abundance of chest hair. He is not a physician, he is a medical student. I hate to break it to you, but you are not a physician until you graduate. His other photos were just as bad. He is looking for love in all the wrong places???? No, I think love is just hiding from his cheesy lines and photos.

     Ummm. He is patriotic. He is actually not unattractive either. Once again, this pic is just plain weird. Why is this the first impression you want to give someone? What are you trying to say? What is the deal with the giant eagle? I also want to know about the dude in the kilt behind you. Ohhhhh. Maybe that is why you chose this photo. While I am dying to know, I don’t care enough to swipe right.

So many of these men include photos of their children. Or the photos are only of their children. Why? In what way is this a good idea or appropriate. It seems about as appropriate as taking your seven-year old to see Deadpool.

Tinder is chock full of ridiculous people. I get the distinct impression most of it is not real. At least I certainly hope so. If it is all sincere, there are way too many people out there with zero clues. None of them are quite ready for dating. I am not even certain they can hold a spoon. 

*I still really want to know the story behind the eagle.

Winter Lingers

~ ladyquirky ~ 4 Comments

 The snow is not as unpleasant as you would think. The roads are rarely sheets of ice. It is not really a big deal here with a few inches of snow. I sincerely hated it here the first six weeks. I was cold, unhappy, and desperately homesick. Things are getting better. I am settling in. My son will be here before I know it for a visit. Spring is just around the corner. I hope. 

The light here is different. It feels darker and gloomier than I imagined. This may result more from my general disposition than reality. My general disposition could be influenced by the ridiculously dreary nature of my current environment. I have heard it is beautiful up here in the spring and summer. I am not sure I believe them.

I cannot imagine how people survived up here before modern conveniences. I cannot fathom how anything was accomplished at all. Everyone keeps telling me this is a mild winter. It is horribly cold. Bone chilling. Teeth rattling. You feel as if your soul is being stabbed with 1000 frozen stakes. 

Okay, it is probably not actually so bad. There have been several pleasant days. I am just recovering from the -15 degree temperatures from this weekend. I was miserable. It hurt to breathe. I am fairly certain my eyelashes froze off. My toes are still a little cold.

People really should not live up here. To be this cold cannot be good for the personality. It may explain why people up here are not as friendly as they are at home. It is just too damned cold.

Love is in the air

~ ladyquirky ~ 5 Comments

  Maybe not love… But interesting and fun things. Just wondering: if you meet someone who is a friend of a friend on Tinder, can you honestly say you met through friends? 
Of all the Tinder dates from last week, he is the best. I actually want to spend time with him. I want to be his friend. I am having an exceptionally good time. (Somehow I got him to watch Downton Abbey with me tonight.) 

Things are looking up. I had a most fantastic week. I learned some lessons.

1. Too many first dates in one week is exhausting. 

2. There are LOTS of losers in the world. 

3. It’s okay to just be me. 

4. I still don’t understand the damn semicolon. (Not important)

5. A good first date CAN include a movie as long as there is dinner after. (Deadpool is a great date movie.)

6. Dating does not have to be all that serious. It’s just hanging out with someone new. 

7. If he makes you laugh, brings you flowers, and makes you feel like he wants to hear what you have to say it’s a good date. 

8. A guy who has some stories to tell is the best date. So much better than 20 questions. 

9. Having mutual friends is fun. It’s most fun when you are both texting her about each other. Just don’t accidentally send him the screen shot you were trying to send her.  *

*of course I did not really do that. **

**obviously, I did that. ***

***he laughed and offered to forward it to our friend. Oops. 

Tinder. Please don’t. 

~ ladyquirky ~ 1 Comment

  Let me be clear. Ewww. This is the ONLY correspondence I have had with this “gentleman.” Trust me, it will go no further. Gross. Please do NOT come to my hotel. Is this real? I never dreamed people actually spoke to people this way. It’s tacky. 

Come on guys! Does this work on any level? What the hell is wrong with you? This is seriously gross. Oh! And the Pray Now picture? One of his profile photos. Certainly seems to be a man of God to me. 

On a brighter note, I have had some interesting and seemingly nice “chats” with some fellows. (Pronounced fella in Texas) I just love the word fellow. Pretty sure it is the best word for a man.  Not the doctor kind though. I only like a few of those.
I don’t know how to feel about Tinder. I have been called “beautiful, baby, honey, hun, gorgeous, sexy, sweetie, darling, and dear.” All of these terms of endearment from people I have not even spoken to. (FYI: this pretty much puts you on the un-match list.) 

You don’t know me! Don’t be calling me names. Try “hello” and say something witty and clever that is not filled to the brim with innuendo and references to either your penis or my breasts.  

I promise you: I am not going to have sex with you the first time I meet you. Probably not the second either. Wait. Not probably. It’s not happening. 

So stop alluding to sex! It’s annoying! You are an adult. Can’t you have an adult conversation without stooping to sex? Do you have any hobbies? Is your job interesting? 

Furthermore. There is a shocking number of profiles for married men out there looking for FWB. I’m dying to know. Why don’t you have sex with your wife? Your marriage would probably be happier. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you, maybe you should evaluate how you are treating her. Do you make her feel special? Do you make her a priority? What is it? Why are you giving up on our marriage? Love your damn spouse! 

Maybe I am naive. I think I may have to follow a certain British chap’s advice and go back to the old fashioned way of meeting people. You never know, you may get to have a really fun time at a Bruce Springsteen concert.  

  
 

 

Charm or Courtesy

~ ladyquirky ~ Leave a comment

  
You know, I get it. You want to be seen as a competent professional. You are young and you feel a sense of obligation to be good at what you do. I have been there. 

Stop acting like you know when you don’t know. One of the best qualities a healthcare provider can exhibit is healthy curiosity. A fundamental knowledge of one’s own limits. You should be painfully aware of your limitations. This is the best way for you to grow. Healthy humility. 

I was raised in Texas. I cannot believe how many people up here are rude! When you walk into a room and see me sitting there, say “hello” or “good morning.” Don’t ignore me! It is rude. It also limits the amount of loyalty I feel for you. 

Don’t attempt to set others up to fail in order to build yourself up. Seriously? Most adults see right through this. You are not gaining other’s respect. They just humor you because they see the shroud of insecurity. 

No one expects you to be perfect. Please be a team player. This is not a competition. My only goal is to take care of patients. It seems to me you are fixated on the wrong issues. You are not fooling anyone. 

Working with women is tough. Working with people who are younger and less experienced is even tougher. I can handle both of those things, until you throw in a person who is caddy and ridiculous. Then, I am annoyed. Grow up and be a professional. We don’t have to become lifelong friends, however would it hurt to be a little more polite? I miss Texas manners. 

Oh, honey! Bless your little heart. You are too precious for words. Now, grow the hell up. 

Tinder Pics. 

~ ladyquirky ~ 6 Comments

  Okay. Come on fellas. Is it really that hard to find some pics for Tinder? 
I am convinced you guys need someone in your life who loves you so you can get some decent pics of yourself. (Obviously, selfies are not your forte.) I cannot fathom why so many of these dudes are NEVER smiling! I just have to swipe left on those guys. Yuck! I want to laugh and have a good time. Why are you presenting yourself as such a bore? 

Can you explain this pic to me? Is this a visual representation of The Pina Coloda song? Do you want to get lost in the rain? What is happening here? I had to swipe left. Now, I will never know the story behind this photo. 

  Seriously? This is your pic that you want women to want to get to know you with? It is not even a picture of you or something you have done! Ugh. I am convinced some people are even lazier than I am when it comes to Tinder. 

But, this is my favorite thing: the fish picture!   Now, most of you post a giant behemoth trophy fish! I’m not sure what makes this fish special but you know I swiped right just so I could have the opportunity to ask. In fact, I may make it a policy to swipe right on every fish pic from now on. I really want to hear the story. (The red scribbles are protecting his anonymity.)

Is fishing a particularly strong display of virile masculinity? Should the thought of you sitting on a boat, drinking a beer, and lazily casting out an invisible line be an aphrodisiac? Do you expect me to know what to do with said fish??? I can’t cook! I don’t touch live fish! Maybe I should reevaluate my new policy of swiping right on the fish pics. 
  Now, these are a pretty accurate representation of who I am. I realize I am lacking a full body shot. (Come on, you can tell I am not a petite girl from these pictures.) At least you get a variety of facial expressions. Surely these shots give somewhat of a glimpse into my personality. At least they demonstrate my selfie habit. 

Choosing pictures to demonstrate your entire being is impossible! Maybe I should include a photo of an advocado. To demonstrate my deep rooted love for them. Oh! And I should probably include the pics of Boomer Wayne and the cats. 

Tinder is such a waste of time. I feel like I am a strange stalker. I choose whether or not I might want to find out whether or not you swiped right on me. I wonder how many people just swipe right on everyone. How many people swipe right on no one? 

Well, I guess I should chalk all of this up to a grand experiment. I am not looking for some great romance. I’m just killing time. If I happen to make some new friends, cool. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep complaining about the absurdity of it all. 

Tinder is so weird! Why I am even on it? I really need to get a life. 

Bad American

~ ladyquirky ~ 2 Comments

 Despite my deep love of taking photos of flags, I am a bad American.

I do not get all up in arms over the latest political scandals.

I do not look forward to exercising my right to vote.

Let’s be honest, I watch election coverage with a dispassionate view and mostly just laugh at the stupid things people say. Sometimes I make fun of their outfits.

The problem I consistently run into  centers on the wide array of conflicting ideas I have about everything. I am neither liberal or conservative. I am not really moderate either. While I have a lot of opinions about “the issues” I just don’t care what these politicians think about them. I don’t know who I am politically. At this point in my life, I am not sure I care.

On the bright side, I watched coverage of the Iowa caucus and had a lovely time texting asinine comments back and forth with a friend.

I just don’t feel all that strongly about the election process. It seems like a bunch of standing around talking and never saying anything. I watched the debates and was not enlightened one bit about these “pundits” and their stance on the issues.

So, I am a bad American. Perhaps if I were more grateful for my freedom I would be a better citizen. Until that time comes, I am just going to watch the spectacle and go on about my business.

P.S. I know I should be more responsible and take a more civic-minded approach. The problem is… I don’t want to. I do not want to be responsible for making those decisions. I cannot even get information about what these people intend to do. All I ever hear is what they think about their opponents.

P.P.S. I would only be voting for the one I liked the best anyway. I have poor judgment. You really don’t want me choosing people because I think they are having a good hair day. Or do you?

P.P.P.S. The problem is really a lack of education for the voters. It took me a great deal of work to determine what these people see as the future for our country. Do all voters do their homework? Do they even know what they are voting for?

*** Rand Paul is one of my favorites. He seems like such a nice guy. I do not agree with everything about him but I like a lot of his policy ideas.

*** Why is everyone so mean to poor Jeb? I like him. I think I would like to have a conversation with him. He is so dry. I love it.

*** Why is Bernie Sanders so popular all of a sudden? Is it just backlash against Hilary? Or do people really agree with him? Isn’t he kinda old to be president?

*** I want the first female president to be cool as shit. None of those creepy suits. A touch less scary. (But, I love Bill. I don’t know why.)

*** I just wish these guys could come off a little less douchey. (Is that how you spell that?) Seriously, they need to get a grip, stop fighting, and come up with workable solutions.

*** Elections in general just confuse me.

Removing The War Paint

~ ladyquirky ~ Leave a comment

 There is something immensely satisfying about coming home after 13 hours of work and immediately removing all traces of the makeup I adorn myself with. Shedding the white coat and scrubs and realizing no one can force me to wear pants for the rest of the night.

It is such a relief to come home and focus on my real life. Call my family. Fix some dinner. Get ready for bed. I may turn on the TV for a few minutes to scope out the weather and then I am hopefully unwound enough to settle in for some much needed sleep. 

I think I am acclimating to the environment. It could be the 50 degree weather we had the past two days… Lovely. I was not shivering every time I opened the door. 

I try not to think about work too much when I am not there. I am finding the task much easier these days. Figuring out how to let go of the patients when I leave the confines of the hospital is probably going to be the best lesson I can learn. 

Removing the shroud of intense responsibility should feel like a relief. There should be a lightness in my step. It is okay to have a life outside of my career. My job does not have to be the defining characteristic of my existence. I can be so much more. 

Still learning lessons. Still growing up. It is part of what makes life interesting. I am grateful for all the opportunities I have been given. I only have to remember to use them well. 

Tinder is the Night

~ ladyquirky ~ 9 Comments


I have many well-intentioned loved ones who just want me to “find someone nice.” Meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. The problem is I have no idea how to do that. When I am left to my own devices I do silly things like play on Tinder. There must be some trick to meeting a nice guy. I doubt I am going to find him while I am sitting on the couch in my PJs.

So, I was bored.

I am also pretty much lazy when it comes to looking for men. I really have zero desire to put much effort into this task. I am not looking for some great love affair. I am also decidedly not looking for a one night stand. I was just bored. Someone to go out to dinner with might be nice. Maybe someone who wants to discuss movies or books. 

I typically tend to forget how many ways men suck. First of all, S3XY??? What the actual hell? Does that ever work? This dude is in his 30’s. So, I am left pretty much flabbergasted at his lack of charm.  At least pretend you are interested in something other than sex. Lie. Whatever. 

I suppose I should be grateful at this guy’s level of honesty. He certainly loses points for missing the hint. If brazen stupidity were an attractive trait, he would have a leg up on the competition. My very favorite part of this exchange was the “U sure.” Ummm, yeah. I am fairly certain I am never going to be interested in having “a sexual relationship” with you.

I am trying to think of what physical characteristics could make me ignore a man’s absolute lack of common sense. He would have to be one hot dude. Tall. Tattoos. Broad shoulders. A beard would help. Thick hair would be nice. Or balding (I am really not picky about hair. Just be smart about your hair. NO comb overs!) Cute smile. Deep voice. Good job. Nice eyes. Smart. Passionate. Responsible. I realize those are not all physical characteristics. I just need more than a pretty face! Oh, a pretty face is not on the list. I don’t want a man prettier than I am.

I have no idea why I responded to this man on Tinder. I suppose I just wanted to see what ridiculousness would ensue. The entire conversation was less than 20 exchanges and most of my responses were not even nice! Did he actually think this would work? What kind of girl would find this a viable option for a nice evening? Are there women who are just looking for a loser to sleep with? I can’t imagine how much liquor it would take for me to overlook his conversation skills.

Tinder is probably not a great option for me to find stimulating conversation and interesting company. Maybe I need to find a coffee shop. Perhaps I should start stalking men at the book store.

We conduct so much of our life on the internet. I am convinced we could go on forever without expanding our social circles at all. So, where am I supposed to meet this nice guy who thinks I am fantastic? Where the hell is he hiding? Someone should drop him a text and let him know I am terrible at hide- and- seek.

Tinder. Ugh. Fellas, I am going to need you to get a clue. Don’t be douchebags. Girls don’t find that attractive. We need more than to be called sexy. I am much more than just a body. I have interests and goals. I love to argue and debate. I need so much more than a physical relationship.