Okay. Come on fellas. Is it really that hard to find some pics for Tinder?
I am convinced you guys need someone in your life who loves you so you can get some decent pics of yourself. (Obviously, selfies are not your forte.) I cannot fathom why so many of these dudes are NEVER smiling! I just have to swipe left on those guys. Yuck! I want to laugh and have a good time. Why are you presenting yourself as such a bore?
Can you explain this pic to me? Is this a visual representation of The Pina Coloda song? Do you want to get lost in the rain? What is happening here? I had to swipe left. Now, I will never know the story behind this photo.
Seriously? This is your pic that you want women to want to get to know you with? It is not even a picture of you or something you have done! Ugh. I am convinced some people are even lazier than I am when it comes to Tinder.
But, this is my favorite thing: the fish picture! Now, most of you post a giant behemoth trophy fish! I’m not sure what makes this fish special but you know I swiped right just so I could have the opportunity to ask. In fact, I may make it a policy to swipe right on every fish pic from now on. I really want to hear the story. (The red scribbles are protecting his anonymity.)
Is fishing a particularly strong display of virile masculinity? Should the thought of you sitting on a boat, drinking a beer, and lazily casting out an invisible line be an aphrodisiac? Do you expect me to know what to do with said fish??? I can’t cook! I don’t touch live fish! Maybe I should reevaluate my new policy of swiping right on the fish pics.
Now, these are a pretty accurate representation of who I am. I realize I am lacking a full body shot. (Come on, you can tell I am not a petite girl from these pictures.) At least you get a variety of facial expressions. Surely these shots give somewhat of a glimpse into my personality. At least they demonstrate my selfie habit.
Choosing pictures to demonstrate your entire being is impossible! Maybe I should include a photo of an advocado. To demonstrate my deep rooted love for them. Oh! And I should probably include the pics of Boomer Wayne and the cats.
Tinder is such a waste of time. I feel like I am a strange stalker. I choose whether or not I might want to find out whether or not you swiped right on me. I wonder how many people just swipe right on everyone. How many people swipe right on no one?
Well, I guess I should chalk all of this up to a grand experiment. I am not looking for some great romance. I’m just killing time. If I happen to make some new friends, cool. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep complaining about the absurdity of it all.
Tinder is so weird! Why I am even on it? I really need to get a life.