Tinder Talks

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I do not even know where to start. Did you seriously just ask me if I like cuddling? What kind of question is that? I thought we were on our way to having a nice conversation about work. I was all geared up to explain more about what I do. Then, he had to ruin the whole conversation. Instant turnoff. “Do you like cuddling?” I guess this explains that service where you can hire someone to come spoon with you. Sorry buddy. I don’t give my cuddles to just anyone.

Then, the other guy… WHAT? Indubitably? Ugh. The pretentiousness of this dude is so thick I doubt I could ever get passed it. He may have been trying to be charming and cute. It is a shame he failed so miserably. He never recovered. Unmatched.

Keeping in mind, I am not looking for Prince Charming. Nope. Not at all. I just kinda want free dinner. Which is going well. I have met or have plans to meet several people. I don’t even know if I would call this dating. Perhaps it is just socializing. It is fun. Life does not have to be so serious.

I have even met a guy I really like. Tinderbabe. Ha! He just laughed when I told him his nickname. He is cute, smart, and funny. Who else do we know with those traits? We have a lot of similar tastes in movies and Netflix, so it works. I am comfortable and myself when I am with him. I feel like I have made a new friend. He even watches Downton Abbey with me. How freaking sweet is that? I am glad I swiped right on him.

If I am being honest, the only thing Tinder may be good for is an ice breaker. I am not going to pretend you can get to know someone on Tinder. For the most part, these are strange people with some interesting proclivities. There are several people looking for BDSM friends (I cannot figure out another way to word that), a dude looking for toes to suck (I failed to get a screen shot because I swiped left so fast), a guy just wanting to give massages (with no reciprocation required???), and many married looking for a third or FWB.

Some of my complaints.

  • Pics that are blurry and group pics. It is rude. Why even post a pic if you can’t tell anything about you?
  • Memes instead of pics. Again, what is the point?
  • Photos of your children. Are you using your kids to catch women? That is gross.
  • Incessant sexual innuendo. I have actually just started telling people I don’t appreciate it. Sometimes they stop and we can have a pleasant conversation. Other times, they have to get unmatched. I don’t have time to constantly redirect you. I believe I made it clear up front I am looking for people to hang out with, not a string of one night stands.
  • Married men looking for FWB. I don’t like it. I don’t care if you say your wife is cool with it. I still find it creepy.
  • Drug references. Are you not presentable at all? Why would I want to go out with you?
  • Repeatedly asking how I am and never the conversation never going anywhere. SAY SOMETHING!
  • Typing ‘U” instead of you. Are “U” that busy?
  • Only messaging me after 11:00 at night. Clear message for a booty call. No thank you.

Tinder is a quick and convenient way to meet people. Social media is strange. The common decency filter is often removed and replaced with inconsequential communication. Most of the people I communicate with are not people I would EVER date. I guess I am just as guilty as these guys are. I am using them for distraction and entertainment just as much as they claim to want to use me.

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