When you have spent years telling yourself that you are a loser, and you cannot do anything right, it is difficult to move on, and chase your dreams. There is a real danger for me to indulge in negativity. I have made the decision to work on writing something substantial, and it is damn scary! I find myself wondering if my life, and the things I have learned are applicable for anyone else. I wonder if it is interesting.
Then, I get over it. It does not really matter what happens with the finished product. Even if it is just an exercise in self-awareness, it will have been worth it.
I am still struggling with self confidence, and I have to make a decision every day. I have to decide to chase my dreams, and if it turns out that my first attempt is not good enough, I will have to regroup and try again.
There comes a time where you have to tell yourself to shut up and just do it. It’s like the nickname my FB friends gave me, Swoosh. That is enough evidence for me to put aside my insecurities, and do the damn work.
After all, I have nothing to lose. I just happen to have every thing to gain.
What is the worst thing that can happen? Worst case scenario? I will have something written which I worked hard on, and I will have remembered the lessons I have learned.
So, what is the lesson? Get a grip. Grow a pair. Get on with it already.
I am on page 62. (Double spaced pages.) It is rough, and there is a lot of editing and revising that must be done, not to mention more to write. I am pleased with the progress I have made, and I am excited to keep working. This is my dream. Who am I to ignore my dreams?
If the losses I have seen this year serve any purpose for me at all, I need to remember this:
- Life is short.
- You have no guarantees for tomorrow.
- If you wait until you are ready, you will never do anything worth while.
- Do what you love.
- Love what you do.
- Tell the people you love how much they mean to you.
- Easy come, easy go.
- Just do it already.
The Accidental Boxer 