“Having a positive outlook means being optimistic even when you have continuous failures, and keep re-working on your plans.”
― Kandathil Sebastian, Dolmens in the Blue Mountain
Faith is so hard to hang on to. The moment I realize that I have let myself down, it is much easier to continue on the path of the fallen. You see, it is easy to keep working out, making the right decisions for my health, and eating well as long as there is no interruption. However, throw a wrench in my plans and watch me flail aimlessly along my way.
This has been a common theme in my life. I do well for a while, then I get distracted. How do you stay focused on your goals when you have fallen off the road? Perhaps it simply takes enough courage to step back up. Maybe I did not actually fall off the road, it could have been a detour. This puts the whole journey metaphor into perspective for me. If I am staying true to my ultimate goal of viewing life as an adventure, then I must stop viewing everything as black or white. I need to learn to find contentment in the gray areas.
I truly struggle with finding contentment. I always have this restlessness just under the surface. Always searching. Never quite sure what I am searching for. So, maybe instead of trying to define my ultimate goals, I should focus on the trip. After all, it seems silly to focus on a destination in life, when arriving means it is the end. Life is a journey not a destination.
So, today I am committing to my training. I have a TM coming up. I know it is going to be a massive undertaking. I will not be able to do my best if I do not work hard to prepare. It is so much easier to beat myself up and say “I can’t do it.” I am tired of being the girl that allows fear to paralyze her. I see pictures of victorious winners as they cross the finish line of their marathons. I want to be a finisher. The only way to achieve those goals is to start.
The beginning of any new adventure is hard. You may get lost along the way, but I am lucky. There is a map. I will meet other travelers along the way who will share their experiences and strength with me. They will share their hope. So, I will borrow some hope and faith from them until I get some of my own. Then, someday I will meet another weary traveler, and I will have something of substance to offer.
This is where I can make a difference in the world. I can learn and grow. I can be available. I may not be perfect, but I am a work in progress. I do not have to seek perfection. I just have to keep moving forward. I must have a little faith in me.