Tulsa Time

You know that moment you realize life is going pretty much okay? Despite all my desperate attempts to convince myself it is not??? 

I’m sitting here in the airport. Five hours early for my flight because I hate to be late. Drinking my trendy strawberry concoction from Starbucks. Watching Game of Thrones on my iPad. With free wifi. Seriously, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. 

I wonder what it feels like to be content. I keep trying to find the answer to this question. How do I lighten up and go with the flow? I keep thinking I have finally made it to that fantastic mystical place in my life, only to find myself wallowing in some self-imposed idea of what I should be doing. Although, if I am being honest, I never actually have any idea of what exactly it is I should be doing. 

I read this article yesterday explaining how you should not judge your job based on whether or not you love it. Perhaps sometimes it is just a job. The thing you do to make a living. Except, I do love my job. Sure there are things about it I don’t like. I imagine that holds true for everyone. 

So where does this constant angst come from? Maybe it’s time to grow up and just decide to be happy. Because I really am happy! I think I think too much. Isn’t there a saying about a well-examined life? Well, I turn mine upside down as often as I can. It’s ridiculous. 

Is this normal? Do normal people do this to themselves? 

So, I am probably going to continue to struggle with this, and I am going to have to keep reminding myself to get over myself. It can’t all be that serious. At some point I need to just chill and be cool.