Bandito Del Toro, his girlfriend, and green crickets.

There is an interesting variety of wildlife living behind my hotel. I first met this little guy Saturday morning. He was just chilling on the wall. I stood there and talked to him for a moment. I am not going to lie, I was secretly hoping he would respond in a wry british accent like the worm from my favorite movie. Sadly, he was too regal to stoop down to talking to a commoner such as myself. Perhaps I should have introduced myself as Princess Quirky… or at the very least, Lady Quirky. He looked like he was sitting there pondering the state of the union.

When I came back to the hotel for lunch, he had moved so he could better survey his kingdom. I am going to name him Buddy Hoppy since he makes me think of a Cricket, and that was the name of the guys who played with Buddy Holly. Somewhat of an homage to home… He still did not talk to me. The disappointment was palpable. I was feeling a little rejected as I walked to the car.

So, as I was driving through the parking lot to return to the hospital I saw this round squatty creature scurrying along the curb. My first thought was, “what an odd looking cat.” Then, I realized he had stopped and was sizing up my car. I squinted and realized he was a raccoon. I wanted to get out and make friends, but I have been taught to avoid carousing with the wildlife.

Since I was on my way to get tacos, and there is seldom a day in which Benecio Del Toro does not cross my mind, I figured this handsome chap was probably named Bandito Del Toro. It probably also helps I was listening to Willie Nelson, and so Bandito just felt like a good name.

Every day I have kept a watch out for my new friends. I have not been able to lay eyes on them again. Until today. I was slowly driving past, peering into the brush when I saw shadows moving behind the fence where the dumpster is kept. With bated breath I put on the brakes and got my phone ready. Bandito came flying over the wall, and then he stopped and waited. He appeared to be ushering someone or something over the wall. He seemed a little impatient if you ask me. Then, I saw her creeping over the wall. She was moving cautiously. I think she was scared. Perhaps she does not like heights either.

I was about to roll down the window to tell him to cool his jets and be supportive, and then he moved a little closer to her, and I swear he was talking her down. Then, he waited for her to walk in front of him. If I did not know better, I would swear he put his arm around her for a moment. Bandito Del Toro has a girlfriend! I did not get a chance to learn her name. Maybe I will figure it out in the morning while I shower. All kinds of random brilliance occur to me then. I can also sing just about anything.

I witnessed a very lovely act of flirting out in the wild kingdom today. I must admit, I would not mind finding my own Bandito to reassure me sometimes.

So, this is what I think about during all my alone time. Imaginary scenarios between green royal crickets and dating raccoons. I may be losing my mind.