I bet you are wondering what on earth this girl is carrying on about now. Well, if you are sure you are ready. I accepted a proposal. Yes. I totally want to embark on this amazing adventure with you. I have been waiting for this my entire life. I was weepy, and so full of emotion.
And… it was at this moment, the one where I was trying to figure out who I would call first to share my AMAZING and life shattering plans. It was the moment that I remembered… I am sitting on my couch trying to write. Drinking my unsweet blueberry green with a splash of sweet blueberry pomegranate tea. Wonder if I can get paid for advertising…
So, back to my life shattering news. Don’t forget, it is amazing. And, I said “YES!” Okay. We all know that Prince Charming did not actually come careening up my street on his valiant steed (okay, or super loud motorcycle, in full tattooed, and neatly trimmed bearded glory). But, HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? I can only imagine the depths of my overreacting and excitement. The ring was beautiful and he said the most amazingly romantic thing. Swept me away in a tide of love, romance, and rose petals to the beach- where obviously, we took a long walk, held hands and planned our glorious star-studded future. Ok—ay… none of that actually happened- but, I seriously enjoyed thinking about it while I was in the shower this morning.
I know I am not the only woman who has planned out like 17 weddings. Not to mention all the engagement rings, proposals, honeymoons, and anniversaries. Ummmm, hello Pinterest anyone? Okay, I do not actually really do Pinterest. I get lost and confused. I start off looking for a hairstyle- and end up reading celebrity gossip trash. I do spent hours watching Say Yes to the Dress and whatever other wedding crap TV I can find. I weep at pretty much all weddings on TV. Okay, I love/ hate weddings. And, it seems to me that if I am going to somehow squeeze having this many “most special days of my life”- then, I had better get busy and at least start dating or something.
Remember when we were kids? We were encouraged to use our imaginations, to play! Now, unless you are one of those lucky fools who works in a creative field (so jealous), then there are decidedly fewer socially acceptable opportunities to act out our fantasies. (No! This is not a post about whips and bondage… although, Fifty Shades is coming out in theaters soon.) So, it is with great embarrassment that I admit to living in an almost constant state of daydreaming. I have spent many productive hours planning out a fictional future (with the most amazingly beautiful heroine that one could possibly imagine), written witty acceptance speeches for awards that have not even been invented, planned my television interviews… oh, and let us not forget planning the wardrobe and jewelry choices that I would make. I am a world traveling, life saving humanitarian. I am funny, write best-selling novels, self-help books, and memoirs that are destined to become required reading in college classes that teach you how to be awesome. My art is highly sought after, and people offer me commissions to make their lives richer and a little prettier.
I am pretty sure that I am going to be an amazing lawyer, totally awesome pilot, and ground- breaking scientist. No. I do not actually have any real plans to make any of this happen. It is just something fun to think about. Geez, I am not insane. Well, maybe a little.
I also think about people I see, or read about and decide whether or not they would like to be my friend. There are a few people who should totally be my friend. Sandra Bullock is one. Another woman who I am pretty sure I should email and invite into my inner circle is Jenny Lawson. She writes a blog I like. Oh, and she wrote one of my favorite books. (Look, if you want to know who she is just google her.) She went to college in my hometown, and I think she would make a fabulous addition to my posse. (Hehe. I just said posse. Perhaps entourage would sound better.) I am feeling fairly certain that Dax Shepard and Kristin Bell would find me charming. (Yes, I was just watching Ellen on my DVR earlier.) Kevin Spacey would probably make me seem smarter. I am sure you are getting the gist. OH, I almost forgot about Ellen, she and I would spend hours watching cat videos and laughing. It would be epic! Oh, and if my real-life friends are reading this… You are more than welcome to come watch cat videos with me sometime. Or, we could just share inane stuff on FB. Oh. I am not trying to replace you- I am sure these famous folk will love you too!!!!
I imagine climbing mountains, exploring the rain forest, and winning an olympic medal. All of these fantasies are fun. It does not actually mean that I think I deserve to do this. I have so much respect for people who manage to be successful in their endeavors. I think this is part of this insane TM stuff for me. It is a challenge, one that with some help can be faced.
So, it is totally not weird that I practice acceptance speeches in the shower. I am willing to practice enough speeches to be worthy of winning any award or prize someone would like to bestow on me. I would be happy to accept a proposal from a man who wants to spend his life with me (well, as long as I like him and stuff.) But, even if none of these things happen- I can still be successful in my life on my own terms.
PS. If Sandra Bullock or Jenny Lawson somehow happen to read this- hit me up on FB. Give me a call. Write me a letter. Whatever- I promise to provide you with tons of entertaining things. Besides, you should see my drunk texts.