Day Dreaming

Today I managed to sleep most of the day. Still having terrible nightmares, but I am feeling better during the waking hours. A friend texted me to keep writing and connecting with other people and I think that is probably the best advice I could have been given. Got another box of presents! Tide, masks, an umbrella… plus Amazon sent me granola bars. I would say that is a good day. Especially when I also got some goodies from a friend last night. 

I never would have dreamed that people thinking of me and reaching out to send me stuff would mean so much. It makes me wonder why we don’t correspond more by mail these days. Maybe we should start. Just a postcard. Or a little note scribbled on a scrap of paper. What if we actually invested in nice stationary and spent some time writing letters? Anyone want to start doing that? Just a thought. 

So, I bought a Hobonichi planner for this year and I am using these daily pages as a sort of artsy journal. Not that I have a single shred of artistic talent, but I smear some watercolor on the page or tack down a momento or a photo in the mornings before work. Nothing special, but I am enjoying it. One reason I do not like to scrapbook is there is too much pressure on making everything perfect. There is nothing about my life that is perfect. It is all wonderfully messy and I like it that way. Does anyone else do something like this? 

I have decided that once all this is over and I take some time off for some R&R I am going to the beach. I plan to sit by the pool under an umbrella with my stack of books and drink the cocktail of the day. I will make no decisions except which swim attire to wear. I will only read novels and short stories. I do not want to think about anything important. I just want to relax. 

Tonight is day 10. Hoping for a good night. Maybe I can make some new friends and find someone to have some laughs with. So, my goal for tonight is to find at least one person with an incredibly sick sense of humor and to make friends with them. Wish me luck. 




It’s not like I actually get sleep when I’m at work, I am really just there wishing I could nap. I’m listening intently for my bat signal (pager) to alert me to Gotham’s (the floor’s) needs. 

I don’t sleep well anytime I think there may be something going on. My ankle is sore from my tumble in the snow. Yes, it snowed in April! I try to nap. I need a nap. Life would be so much better if I could just close my eyes and rest. My pager has it’s place of honor right next to me on the pillow. 

I toss and turn, decide I may have missed a page, furtively check the pager. I may as well get up. I obsessively check and recheck the list of things I am supposed to be following up on. I call the floor to make sure no one is looking for me. I pace around the room. Well, I limp around the room. My ankle is rather tender. 

I worry about all the things I should be doing. I wonder what my next adventure should be. I daydream about a trip to the beach. The waves crashing, drinks with paper umbrellas, and plenty of time to read. I must plan a trip to the beach. 

I worry I am missing something. I recheck the orders I have put in on my patients. I wish morning would hurry up and get here. It’s time to check outputs and vital signs. I have to print the lists for the day shift. Where has the night gone? 

It’s time to drive home. I’m wide awake. I wonder if I missed something. I really need to sleep. I am expecting a package. I need to make some phone calls today. If I just lay my head down for a minute I know I will feel better. Don’t forget to set an alarm. Give yourself time to do laundry before work. Curl up and let the worry fade. Tonight is another day.