Secret Agent Man

Standard

I’m not going to lie, The Professor irritated me. It would be disingenuous for me to insinuate I was still all that interested anyway. Don’t forget I get bored easily. I need fairly consistent interaction or you run the risk of getting replaced.

While The Professor was fun and I enjoyed our first date very much, he made a critical mistake. He decreased contact and failed to keep the excitement going. Granted, he did say he is not good about texting and calling. In hindsight this feels like an excuse. Besides, did he really think making out a little in the car meant I didn’t still need to be actively pursued? 

Unfortunately for him, The Spy had decided to strike. He has been texting and calling regularly. Not excessively, just often enough to keep me a little thrilled. Good morning texts and phone calls in the evening. He is witty, handsome, and disarmingly charming. He is respectful and curious about my day. Our conversations have a natural flow and we are interacting with each other, not at each other. 

The Spy sends me funny selfies sporadically through the day. He sends memes. He references things I’ve mentioned before. It feels like he is paying attention to me. He acts interested in my thoughts and perspective. We discuss things. Our date is planned for tonight and he periodically sends me the hourly countdown. He is obviously smart; he is making me feel like he can’t wait to see me. He is flirty and sprinkles in just enough innuendo to make me blush and grin like a fool. 

Seriously, someone needs to teach men how to be a little risqué without resorting to vulgarity. Don’t ask about my cup size or pubic hair when I have not even indicated an interest in getting naked with you. I am not sending you pics of my boobs, and I don’t want to see your penis on my phone screen. I promise. 


Sigh. I love a man with a beard. 

Maybe it is unfair to compare men to each other. How do you evaluate two very different personalities in a fair manner? Is it possible The Spy only seems so awesome in comparison to The Professor because left me wondering how he felt until it was too late? 

What are the rules to dating? How do you know if you are doing it right? 

How do you know if someone is truly interested or if they are just on a conquest? 

Why does it feel like The Spy already knows me? 

Who told him I love Dwight Yoakum? How did he know I eschew “Nashville country?” 

Who told him to send me a joke about C-diff and to drop the word propofol correctly into conversation? 

How did he know to joke about following me back to Texas? (To insinuate you plan to do that will get you dropped in a hurry.) 

How did he know my deep appreciation for the many ways the word f*ck can be used in a sentence? (Mom, the edit was for you.) 

I guess you can tell I am having a good time. I’ve been in a ridiculously good mood for the past five days. It’s exciting. Even though I have no idea how things will turn out, I am thrilled to be on the ride. 

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