I Choose

He wants me to smile sweetly and be carefree. Don’t rock the boat and maintain a calm, cool, and collected attitude. Don’t give people dirty looks and always be friendly. Go with the flow and relax. My hair should always be forced into submission using superheated ceramic plates and hurricane force winds from the hair dryer. Makeup should be natural, yet perfect. Avoid garish colors. Don’t put those stripes in your hair. Clothing should be chosen carefully paying attention to detail and neatness should always be paramount. Comfort and function is not important.Don’t be so loud. Avoid profanity and callous language at all cost. Be polite. Professionalism is always required. Carry yourself like a lady at all times.

She wants me to be strong and to demonstrate my inner feminine badass. Don’t stoop to acting like a weak little girl. I am not a doormat, do not allow anyone to walk all over me. Live life offensively and not defensively. As a woman, I should be using my voice to enact change and lead a revolution. Fight against injustice and demand respect. I can wear any clothes I want to wear and  the more shocking the better. Makeup is used to draw attention to the face and to prove I can be anything I choose to be. I should not be ashamed of my sexuality and my desires. Do not keep my voice down, I deserve to be heard. Use any language to facilitate proving my point. I am not scared of anyone. I am woman, hear me roar.

I am supposed to be brave yet cautious.

I am supposed to be concerned with my appearance yet self-depreciating.

I am supposed to be respectable yet be myself.

Generous and charitable while avoiding being used.

Smart yet teachable.

Confident and humble.

Strong and independent. Wait, unless someone wants me to be docile.

Clever and funny but not vulgar.

Opinionated yet deferential.

When I try too hard to meet the expectations everyone else has for me, I end up confused and unable to act. I find myself unable to make simple decisions. I become desperately unhappy.

I find it difficult to be everything I assume people expect of me. This is why it is important to surround ourselves with people who like us exactly as we are at that moment. Today, I choose to be me, authentically. 

7 thoughts on “I Choose

      1. Yes, it is! It is very confusing… Atleast you know who you are…! Sometimes people just keep doing things according to others’ expectations and never realize who they are…

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It started off as a joke- then, as I was writing and trying to edit- (I am a poor editor) I realized the absurdity of me even trying to live up to everyone’s ideas- rather my idea of what I think their ideas are. It’s funny and sad.
      Thanks for the kind words.


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