Walls and Starting Lines: Tough Mudder- Mesa 2015

So, I suppose you wanna hear about my Tough Mudder adventure.

Let me start from the beginning. Did you know there is a wall you have to climb over before the starting line? I do not think it is very tall- 6 or 7 feet maybe. 8? I dunno. Not too high. Most people get over it- and make it look easy.

Now, let me explain- I don’t do heights. I do not climb ladders- I don’t walk to the edge of cliffs- I don’t go anywhere that might require climbing. I am not even fond of stairs. I’m a big girl- not one to let people lift me up or carry me. I just do not do it. EVER! Bridges? No, thank you very much. I am not doing it. Nope. I’ll just go home.

So, here we are. I have spent a small fortune to participate in this event, and I am about to quit before I even get to the starting line. I am in a mass of excited people, and I am filled with dread and regret. I am embarrassed, ashamed, and horrified. I am not doing it.

Tears are streaming down my face, and I am hoping valiantly that no one can see the terror behind my shades. The members of my team are surrounding me, and I cannot hear a word they are saying. All I know is that there is no way in hell I can do this. I feel like a fool for even thinking this is a good idea.

Then… somehow… they convince me to go up to the wall. A pair of hands clasped in front of me- all I have to do is take a step- push up- and take a leap of faith. After a couple of false starts. I am finally able to commit. I step up and grab the edge of the wall. Rick, (who is my burpee nemesis) is straddling the top. He grabs my hand, and I grip his arm. Somehow I get one leg over. I am laying across the top of this wall, shaking with fear. Rick is holding on and telling me how proud he is. And I come over the wall into the arms of my team. Angela is right behind me… up and over the wall. (she makes it look incredibly easy- which makes sense- she is a superhero to me.) Wow. How did we do that? Then, it is time for the National Anthem and the Mudder Pledge. Everything is going to be okay. I am shaking and crying.

Then, we jog through the starting line- give a high-five to the dude- and we are off… Now, the adventure is really about to begin. Next up is the Arctic Enema. What? There is a ladder? Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?