Shining Onward and Bravely Searching,

Living a life full of adventure may not be all it is cracked up to be. Sometimes you just want to sit on the couch with a kitty in your lap, remote in your hand, and a glass of wine within reach. This is exactly where I want to be tonight. I have absolutely no plans to do anything else until morning.

This past week was a nightmare at work. It was not the crazy number of hours it required, it was dealing with some personalities that left me emotionally drained, and unsure of my next move. However, if I have learned anything in my life, it is best to take my time and not make decisions when I am emotional about the situation.

So, I am going to sit back and think about some of the advice I have been given. Right now my favorite advice came from a new mentor. (Turns out that is what they call “work daddies” in the real world-thanks for that T.) Yikes. Not that real work daddy has been replaced. No way. He is stuck with me. Anyway, his advice was to find things you can live with, instead of searching for those you cannot live without. Good advice for me. I have to remove the black and white from situations and be okay with the gray.

People surprise the hell out of me. I find myself forging new relationships and growing more as a person every day, and then I get knocked out by someone who means nothing to me. Why do we let people have so much control over how we feel?

Easy. We want connection. We want to feel like we are valuable. We want to be wanted. We want to be more than someone who can be lived with. Perhaps we even want to feel a little needed. Regardless of what we say, we do want to be loved.

So, in order to live a bearable life, I have to pretend those desires are not there. I have to play it cool. I have to not be too terribly devoted to anything. I am not sure how you find passion in life when you spend all your time trying to quell those passions.

Why does life have to be so confusing? Am I supposed to be searching for my passion, or am I supposed to be calm, cool, and collected at all times? When are you supposed to be excited? Am I allowed to be driven and ambitious?

So, I am continuing to live life looking for my next adventure. I am going to continue to build relationships with people. I will find my passion. I will find people who share my passion. I will feel things as brightly as I can.

Shining Onward and Bravely Searching,