I know. You are tired of hearing about the Tough Mudder

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I know, I know. Do you talk about anything else these days?

Yes.

I do.

I promise. I am just having so much fun going through pictures and planning my next adventure with my son and my new friends.

I had not actually planned on attempting many of the obstacles. I had not been working out, and I was woefully unprepared for the TM. I went anyway. I wanted to meet these people. I am so glad that I did.

Participating with this group of people was life-changing. I feel like I was probably the one in the worst shape, I feel like I was the biggest person out there. The old me would never in a million years wear compression pants and a form fitting shirt out in public like that. I would have felt out of place and like I did not belong.

I have worked hard to overcome the negative self-talk that permeates my life. It is not easy. I think this is one of the hardest parts about getting healthy. You have to feel like you are worth the effort. Tough Mudder is so much more than an obstacle course. It is a chance to overcome your fears. It is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do anything.

There are videos. There are videos of me on the ground in a mud pit.

I have an interesting nose. (I hate my nose.) It is turned up, a la a pig nose. Oh, and I have always been heavier than most of the people I know. I remember when I was a kid, and the mean kids called me Ms. Piggy. Now, Fast forward more than 20 years. I am still fat, and I still have a turned-up nose. I was actually essentially rolling around in a pit of mud. I assure you, no one called me a pig.

This sounds silly but, this is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I stopped letting the bullies and mean people dictate my life. I can be healthy and active. It’s okay that I am not in fantastic (or even acceptable) physical condition. I went out and worked hard. I played. I had fun. No one told me I did not belong with them.

It is time to stop letting the voices from our past prevent us from living up to our full potential. Yeah, there were mean kids and people who pointed out our flaws. Wanna hear a secret? My son has my nose. In fact, he looks pretty much like a male version of me. I think he is the most handsome person on the planet. I do not see those features as flaws on him.

I now understand why it hurt my family so much all those years I thought I was ugly. I get it. I understand why it hurt them to see me hurting myself. I was hurting the person they loved.

Today, I am still fat. I am still slow and out of shape. I can do a burpee. I can go and have fun in the mud with a group of fitty friends. I am not ugly. Turns out, I have a lot to offer. Who I am to stand in my way?

 

Letter of Intention: Tough Mudder Arizona

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Ummm. Probably not.

Dear Tough Mudder,

No, not the actual people- this is a letter to the course. In less than one week I will be attempting to complete the challenge of crossing your finish line. 12 miles of mud, obstacles, and friends in the Arizona desert stand between me and success.

I am completely unprepared for the challenge I am certain you will present. Despite this failure on my part to adequately prepare, I am asking you to be kind. (Yes, I know you are the “Toughest OCR”) If I had any sense at all, I would back out. But, my ego and pride demand that I try.

I promise to respect the sanctity of this challenge, and to do my very best. I will face my fears, and try to do every obstacle that I can physically withstand. Furthermore, I promise to be a supportive and excited teammate for my friends who are going on this adventure with me. I will celebrate everyone’s success and encourage them to do their best as well.

I have every intention of laughing and having a good time. I will not give up because I am tired and sore. I will not be a chicken and refuse to let my team help me. It is quite possible that there will be skipping, singing, and dancing through this course. (We have to cope somehow.)

So, if I promise to face this challenge with an open mind and open heart, will you promise to look out for my insanely large group of mudderfied friends? This challenge is a big deal to a lot of us. I really need for no one to get hurt, and for us all to emerge relatively unscathed.

This is so far out of my comfort zone, and I see the opportunity for this to be an important milestone in my life. Next Saturday will be the day that I throw myself whole-heartedly into a task that I find terrifying and intimidating, and have the opportunity to achieve what so many people have said was impossible. Next Saturday will be the day I tell my inner self to get over herself, and allow myself to achieve an insurmountable task. I may as well be climbing Mount Everest. This is just as unlikely for me.

I am going to cross that finish line, no matter what it takes. This will be a huge victory for this girl.

Oh, and I am going to need a ton a photographic evidence. No one is ever going to believe I actually did this.

Sincerely (also excited and scared),

Lady Quirky

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Wait! I did what? No… I don’t usually do things that require a death waiver. I must be possessed.

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At least someone is calling me Princess. I would like to declare that next Saturday, I will officially be Princess Quirky.