Talking to Myself

Jason Isbell asked me an important question tonight. I was driving to Tulsa for work. 

“Are you living the life you chose? Are you living the life that chose you?”

Okay. Jason Isbell was not actually in the car. I don’t even know him. He certainly doesn’t know me. I’m not even certain this lyric is all that profound. But, I like it. I actually kinda love it. So, thanks for serenading me in the car Mr. Isbell.

I have noticed I have a strong affinity for collecting slogans, lyrics, sayings, and quotes. I relish the ability to wave away whatever concern I may have with a meaningless dismissive exclamation I have stolen from someone else.

It is all bullshit. 

I can collect a thousand memes from Word Porn or any other Facebook page to save me the trouble of actually expressing myself. If it sounds trite or stupid, it’s okay. It wasn’t my thoughts. I didn’t sound insipid. 

Not that any of these nice little sayings are insipid. I saved them, along with hundreds of others. They do manage to inspire me. 

Okay, wait. Let me be honest. I was actually just kinda letting my mind wander, as it likes to do, and I was thinking about all the content whores who just keep sharing the same old tired quotes and memes. The 15 different pages that shared the same click bait cluttering my newsfeed. 

Are there any original ideas anymore? Am I doomed to see the same movie remade a thousand times? Although, I did enjoy The Magnificent Seven. It’s hilarious. Chris Pratt can come be my sidekick any day. Plus, he’s a cutie pie. 

None of this is the point though. So, what is the point? 

I guess it’s just easier to allow the fear of failure to prevent me from writing or speaking from a vulnerable place. It’s far less frightening to share a stranger’s vulnerability. 

What if I am not clever enough? What if my idea is stupid? Do I even have an original thought? I guess it all boils down to that inevitable question: Am I enough?

So, I’ll continue to collect quotes, lyrics, and memes. I will continue to scribble my ideas down and attempt to fashion them into something worth reading. I don’t want to doom my characters to a life they don’t get to experience. Besides, what’s the worst thing that can happen? I embarrass myself? Eh. I do that regularly anyway. 

Funny things

Come on! How could you not love this monkey? He is adorable! He looks like a little old man.
This little doggie makes me laugh. He (she?) reminds me of all the little dogs in my life. I love them. They are such fierce protectors. LOL.
This would be funnier if my ringtone was not formerly Call Me, Maybe. I love cheesy pop music.
Can someone please explain to me how we think it is okay to dress our dogs up? Wait! I know. To make memes is good. Okay. Carry on.
Best advice I have seen in a while.

So, I use Facebook as a distraction. Just a little something to make me laugh. I thought I would share some of the things I have enjoyed this week. Oh, and an elevator selfie. I could not pass up the opportunity for a funny picture.

Only three more work days until I get to go home. I miss my new bed. I miss my cats. Yeah, I am a little homesick. I suppose this is normal.

I am somewhat convinced this experience will leave me better off in the long run. It is worth it. I have met some interesting people, and I am learning a lot about myself.

I want to continue to grow both professionally and personally. This is a great way to ensure that. I cannot help but wonder what adventures are coming next. How long can a person maintain this pace?

This weekend when I go home, I get to go to work at my old job. I can’t wait. I miss seeing my nurse coworkers. I miss Work Mommy and Work Daddy (hehehe.) I am so glad to get to work with them again, even if it is just for a few days.

Most importantly, I want to see my family. I love them so much. They are my anchor in this world. When I feel uncentered and adrift, they help me to keep my feet planted on the ground. So, three more days until I head home… I am ecstatic.