Blowing Through You

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Sometimes the wind cuts into your skin like a sharp knife. It steals your breath away and leaves you gasping. The very next day you wonder if it is inappropriate to wear shorts in late December.

Welcome to West Texas.

I have noticed I complain a lot. Usually about little things and minor inconveniences. Truth be told, I’m generally not even very annoyed. I am just complaining.

I complain because it is windy, too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry, too bright and too dark.

I’m going to be late and I can’t believe how early I am.

I have insomnia and I slept too much.

I complain because people are driving too fast to suit me, or they won’t get the lead out and move out of my way fast enough.

People talk too loud and I need you to speak up because I can’t hear you today!

The seam on that sock rubs my toes, so I am going to put it back in the drawer because I never want to wear it again.

I complain because I have a drawer full of socks that I hate and I can’t find the ones I like.

My flight is too early unless it is too late.

The dogs won’t settle down or all they do is sleep.

I don’t want to talk on the phone but why have you not called me?

I don’t know how to fix the problem, except when I notice I am whining about something inconsequential, I try to stop and remind myself that I am working diligently on having a better attitude.

One would think this reminder would be appreciated. One would assume I had simply forgotten to be more gracious at that particular moment.

Unfortunately, ONE would be wrong. I find myself annoyed and complaining about myself reminding me to not complain so much.

It’s exhausting! I simply can’t fathom why I can’t just chill out and prance around grinning all day. It takes real effort to be this negative all the time.

I think perhaps I suffer from the affliction I see so many others struggle with. Contrarianism. 

I am convinced some people (including me at times) complain for the sake of complaining. Frequently the object of our disdain is not even something we feel all that strongly about. 

Tonight I am surrounded by falling ice. It’s cold outside and I am exhausted from my day at work. I could sit here and bitch about any number of things. I could also sit here and focus on the good things. It’s my choice. 

I’ll probably do both. 

It is rare for me to have no words.

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Looking more than a little tired.

I have so many things I want to say, and yet I have no words.

We are not guaranteed anything in life. We have a responsibility to let the people we love know how we feel about them. We have an obligation to be kind and to try to leave the world a better place. Don’t waste your life waiting for it to begin.

So, in the spirit of that sentiment, here are a few of the people and memories I love the most.

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I love this picture so much. This costume was logistically more difficult than I thought it would be. He was the perfect little mummy.

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May as well continue with the Halloween pics. Look, it’s my baby brother- wearing eye shadow! Looking tough Bubba.

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I would not go to school with crazy witch hair and makeup. I did not want to be seen ugly. (One of my family’s favorite stories.)

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I can’t believe it has been so long. We did it! One of my favorite pics of my BFF and I.

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Good times with my dear friends. Love these women so much.

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Me and my little buddy. My nephew, Kyle. I love this kid so much!

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Tough Mudder Adventures. I can’t wait for the next one!

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Me and my other nephew, My Squishy.

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Kurt and I before the Tough Mudder. He basically held my hand, and let me flirt shamelessly with him all day. Love all my superhero friends. It certainly helps how easy on the eyes he is.

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My “little bro”- Trevor and my brother, also named Trevor- are two of the nicest guys I know. I am a lucky girl to have all these great dudes in my life.

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I vote for: it’s always a good idea to get a selfie with the guy in chains.

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This is one handsome dude. I love his heart. I do not know how I got to be so lucky with a kid like him.

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Fun times with fun friends.

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Hanging out in Memphis.

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Just because we don’t have shot glasses, does not mean we don’t do shots. However, the lack of a corkscrew- did lead to wine bottle breakage… Live and learn.

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Love these peeps. You guys look so cool.

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Me and my beautiful mom. She’s pretty much awesome. I am lucky to have her.

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My first time! With Sushi, get your head out of the gutter…

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Ty and Granny… He played my favorite song for his talent show. The Entertainer from one of my favorite movies: The Sting.

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Just a girl and her dog. This was Cinnamon. She was the bomb-diggity.

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Ty’s first time! …. With Sushi!!! NYC was so awesome. I am so glad I got to share the experience with my favorite person in the whole world.

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Just us grandkids with Mamaw. Always a good time. I love it when she is game for selfies.

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Just one of the random things I miss most from my other job…. getting to take random selfies with this hottie. (He is Shannon’s husband- I always send them to her….) It makes me smile.

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Oh, my Gracie Belle. She is the coolest cat. Moody, temperamental, and my sweet girl. She nurses on my blanket, and she is always glad to see me when I get home. Her sister Bonnie Blue on the other hand…. not so much.

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My girl Brooke, who refuses to bleach my hair ever again… because the bleach makes me cry and whine… and then I demand to go dark again after the wounds on my scalp heal. Love that she humors my many whims when it comes to my hair.

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My dear brother and sister-in-law. Trevor and Robin, you guys are a good example of what a decent marriage should be. You love and respect each other every day. I love that you two found happiness with each other.

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My four guys. I always wanted a “red-headed step brother,” JT, thanks for making that wish come true.

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I love having all these strong, beautiful, brilliant women as my friends. I think I may have the best group of people in the world. I am indeed a lucky girl.

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Selfies are always better when you are wearing shades.

Yeah…. now, we are all professionals and responsible for real human lives. Scary thought.

So, what’s the point? Well, my life is meaningful because of all these people. There are a lot of other people who mean the world to me too. I am lucky. We have to remember to love our people. Don’t take them for granted. My heart is with my family in California tonight. I will be sending you all the loving vibes I can. I love you guys!

West of the Moon, East of the Sun

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Outside San Angelo, actually- in Christoval. I love it there.

I was driving home from a job interview 400 miles away from my city, and the journey took me through my hometown. As I pulled out of town, I saw a huge moon rising in my rearview mirror, while the sun was setting ahead of me. It was a stunning sight.

I was reminded of a book I read, West of The Moon. It is about a little boy who is dying from cancer, and the mediation he used required him to go to his safe place. It was a meadow that was West of the Moon, and East of the Sun. He had a guide, who if I remember correctly was a cowboy.

There are lots of cowboys in my hometown.

I love when I get lucky enough to see the moon rising while the sun is setting. It makes me feel centered. Almost like there are bookends around our planet.

There are so many things I am so grateful for. I have been given so many opportunities, and many people have helped me become the person I am. I have had amazing teachers, mentors, family, and friends. They have been my guides.

I can only hope I am able to find new guides while I branch out and learn new skills. I plan to take the lessons I have learned with me, and to be a good example of the kind of person they have taught me to be.

I am so excited to see what the future holds for me, and I can’t wait to embark on the next chapter.

*I should probably stop playing with the photo editing app I have on my iPhone, and actually learn how to edit photos. Right now, all I do is randomly select thingsĀ and see what they do. I am probably making a mess of it all.