Blowing Through You

Sometimes the wind cuts into your skin like a sharp knife. It steals your breath away and leaves you gasping. The very next day you wonder if it is inappropriate to wear shorts in late December.

Welcome to West Texas.

I have noticed I complain a lot. Usually about little things and minor inconveniences. Truth be told, I’m generally not even very annoyed. I am just complaining.

I complain because it is windy, too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry, too bright and too dark.

I’m going to be late and I can’t believe how early I am.

I have insomnia and I slept too much.

I complain because people are driving too fast to suit me, or they won’t get the lead out and move out of my way fast enough.

People talk too loud and I need you to speak up because I can’t hear you today!

The seam on that sock rubs my toes, so I am going to put it back in the drawer because I never want to wear it again.

I complain because I have a drawer full of socks that I hate and I can’t find the ones I like.

My flight is too early unless it is too late.

The dogs won’t settle down or all they do is sleep.

I don’t want to talk on the phone but why have you not called me?

I don’t know how to fix the problem, except when I notice I am whining about something inconsequential, I try to stop and remind myself that I am working diligently on having a better attitude.

One would think this reminder would be appreciated. One would assume I had simply forgotten to be more gracious at that particular moment.

Unfortunately, ONE would be wrong. I find myself annoyed and complaining about myself reminding me to not complain so much.

It’s exhausting! I simply can’t fathom why I can’t just chill out and prance around grinning all day. It takes real effort to be this negative all the time.

I think perhaps I suffer from the affliction I see so many others struggle with. Contrarianism. 

I am convinced some people (including me at times) complain for the sake of complaining. Frequently the object of our disdain is not even something we feel all that strongly about. 

Tonight I am surrounded by falling ice. It’s cold outside and I am exhausted from my day at work. I could sit here and bitch about any number of things. I could also sit here and focus on the good things. It’s my choice. 

I’ll probably do both.