Some girls need Wide Open Spaces. Others need to see the yellow moon through the window of a Downtown Train. Maybe I will live Life in the Fast Lane in Detroit Rock City. 

I am the girl who is always Leaving on a Jet Plane, except I usually know when I’ll be back again. I know I won’t be Under the Bridge because all it takes is one phone call saying Mama, I’m Coming Home, and even at 3 am, the porch light will be left on. Friends will Wish You Were Here and others will say Go Your Own Way. I’ll probably still be looking for the keys to Paradise City seeking Success as I am a Real Wild Child with a Lust for Life. I’ll find Trouble when I Drink Alone.  Even if it is only One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer you will find me on a Road to Nowhere hunting for St. Elmo’s Fire in a Small Town full of Little Pink Houses until the locals tell me Don’t Come Around Here No More. 

I’ll come to a Crossroads and claim it’s just One More Ride under the Blue Sky with Melissa, Amy, Little Martha, and a Drunken Hearted Boy straight to the Whipping Post where I can sit next to the Bougainvillea basking in the Soul Shine with Nancy and Angeline thinking about all the Things You Used to Do. When I am On the Road Again, remember I am a Good Hearted Woman, but I had Georgia On My Mind. Don’t stand under Blue Skies on an Uncloudy Day wishing for Blue Eyes Cryin’ In the Rain or a Whiskey River to drown your sorrows. Imagine me with the Highwayman, or even Pancho and Lefty meandering across the Mendocino County Line looking for Seven Spanish Angels.

The winds sweep across the plains of Oklahoma and Deep in the Heart of Texas.  If I manage to find a Lucky Star while Fishin’ in the Dark, I should probably act Like a Virgin, and when I stumble across a Desperado from the Streets of Bakersfield, you won’t like him. I may think I have found Paradise By the Dashboard Light, when he talks about my Angel Eyes, but in the end I will be begging him to Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around. It will be Ironic that he can be so Insensitive and leave me Torn. I will be Blinded by the Light when he tells me I look Wonderful Tonight right before we venture out Dancing in the Dark.  A Broken Promise can be written on Pretty Paper, and it’s still just a tale of Faded Love. Pieces of You will be Blowin’ In the Wind until I realize these are the Games People Play and sometimes people are just Under Pressure and Working for the Weekend. I’ll hop on my Wrecking Ball and tell The Joker “Bye Bye Bye” at The End of the Road. I was simply looking for Heroes, or maybe Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. Can you envision my disappointment when all I found were Everyday People?

Love is a Battlefield and I am The Warrior. I was Born to Run and I won’t settle for living like a Refugee. Against All Odds I will Learn to Fly and declare No More I Love Yous will be uttered from these Lips that Bite. I will hop off the Crazy Train and stop asking “Should I Stay or Should I go?” I can buy Two Tickets to Paradise or Take it Easy and hitch a Free Ride to Where the Streets Have No Name. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and hopefully it won’t be The Final Countdown to Closing Time because We’re Not Gonna Take It anymore. There are Raised Right Men who just happen to live a Semi-Charmed Life and are simply Waitin’ Round to Die. Brick by Brick they build their walls and hide from The Greatest Love of All. 

Lightening Crashes into Fake Plastic Trees as I Run-Around screaming a Rebel Yell searching for the Champagne Supernova in the River of Deceit at Possum Kingdom. Did I mention I Come From the Water ? I’ll Shake It Off and Set Fire to the Rain while wearing a Poker Face and humming a Fight Song about a girl named Sweet Caroline while I swing from the Chandelier. The Cat’s in the Cradle and I Don’t Wanna Grow Up just to leave the Glory Days behind me as I tumble down a Landslide into The Waiting. Everybody Hurts if they think too hard about all the Yesterdays. Instead of feeling like an Outsider and whining “I Just Want to Have Something to Do,” Remember Baby, I Love You. It’s a Hard Life, but we’ll Breakaway, because Your My Best Friend.

You like a Masquerade, with your paper faces on parade. You hide from Whatshername and we go out Walking in Memphis. I like to go out Walking After Midnight, just Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places. Charlena and I will ring up Donna on the Payphone just to tell her “Come On, Let’s Go” because everyone knows We Belong Together, not sitting Alone,(Crying, Waiting, Hoping) while Lonely Teardrops fall. Let’s Dance the La Bamba and the Mambo Number 5 at the Love Shack while we scope out some dudes that are Pretty Fly (For a White Guy). We will toss Glitter in the Air, talk about our Beautiful Trauma, and look into our Crystal Ball and think about being Sober. So What? I Don’t Believe You. It’s All Your Fault. We Could’ve Had Everything, but you had to be a Bad Influence and so damn Mean.

I’ll find an American Woman or maybe just a Brown-eyed Girl to teach me to Hold on Loosely. I might even Bang a Gong (Get It On) with a guy like Tom Sawyer, you know the modern day warrior with the mean, mean stride? We all need a Pinball Wizard who loves American Music and is so Unbelievable. I was Losing My Religion with the Shiny Happy People when I realized it all Smells Like Teen Spirit and they never drank the Pennyroyal Tea with the Angel of the Morning or even the Long Cool Woman in the black dress. As a Last Resort I can always pretend to be a New Fool at an Old Game. I could be all Fancy and go Commando at Rockaway Beach or I could just tell you the whole, honest truth. I Wanna Be Sedated. 

*** This was just for fun- obviously all the bolded parts are song titles. This was fun.