Charm or Courtesy

  
You know, I get it. You want to be seen as a competent professional. You are young and you feel a sense of obligation to be good at what you do. I have been there. 

Stop acting like you know when you don’t know. One of the best qualities a healthcare provider can exhibit is healthy curiosity. A fundamental knowledge of one’s own limits. You should be painfully aware of your limitations. This is the best way for you to grow. Healthy humility. 

I was raised in Texas. I cannot believe how many people up here are rude! When you walk into a room and see me sitting there, say “hello” or “good morning.” Don’t ignore me! It is rude. It also limits the amount of loyalty I feel for you. 

Don’t attempt to set others up to fail in order to build yourself up. Seriously? Most adults see right through this. You are not gaining other’s respect. They just humor you because they see the shroud of insecurity. 

No one expects you to be perfect. Please be a team player. This is not a competition. My only goal is to take care of patients. It seems to me you are fixated on the wrong issues. You are not fooling anyone. 

Working with women is tough. Working with people who are younger and less experienced is even tougher. I can handle both of those things, until you throw in a person who is caddy and ridiculous. Then, I am annoyed. Grow up and be a professional. We don’t have to become lifelong friends, however would it hurt to be a little more polite? I miss Texas manners. 

Oh, honey! Bless your little heart. You are too precious for words. Now, grow the hell up. 

Tinder Pics. 

  Okay. Come on fellas. Is it really that hard to find some pics for Tinder? 
I am convinced you guys need someone in your life who loves you so you can get some decent pics of yourself. (Obviously, selfies are not your forte.) I cannot fathom why so many of these dudes are NEVER smiling! I just have to swipe left on those guys. Yuck! I want to laugh and have a good time. Why are you presenting yourself as such a bore? 

Can you explain this pic to me? Is this a visual representation of The Pina Coloda song? Do you want to get lost in the rain? What is happening here? I had to swipe left. Now, I will never know the story behind this photo. 

  Seriously? This is your pic that you want women to want to get to know you with? It is not even a picture of you or something you have done! Ugh. I am convinced some people are even lazier than I am when it comes to Tinder. 

But, this is my favorite thing: the fish picture!   Now, most of you post a giant behemoth trophy fish! I’m not sure what makes this fish special but you know I swiped right just so I could have the opportunity to ask. In fact, I may make it a policy to swipe right on every fish pic from now on. I really want to hear the story. (The red scribbles are protecting his anonymity.)

Is fishing a particularly strong display of virile masculinity? Should the thought of you sitting on a boat, drinking a beer, and lazily casting out an invisible line be an aphrodisiac? Do you expect me to know what to do with said fish??? I can’t cook! I don’t touch live fish! Maybe I should reevaluate my new policy of swiping right on the fish pics. 
  Now, these are a pretty accurate representation of who I am. I realize I am lacking a full body shot. (Come on, you can tell I am not a petite girl from these pictures.) At least you get a variety of facial expressions. Surely these shots give somewhat of a glimpse into my personality. At least they demonstrate my selfie habit. 

Choosing pictures to demonstrate your entire being is impossible! Maybe I should include a photo of an advocado. To demonstrate my deep rooted love for them. Oh! And I should probably include the pics of Boomer Wayne and the cats. 

Tinder is such a waste of time. I feel like I am a strange stalker. I choose whether or not I might want to find out whether or not you swiped right on me. I wonder how many people just swipe right on everyone. How many people swipe right on no one? 

Well, I guess I should chalk all of this up to a grand experiment. I am not looking for some great romance. I’m just killing time. If I happen to make some new friends, cool. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep complaining about the absurdity of it all. 

Tinder is so weird! Why I am even on it? I really need to get a life. 

Bad American

 Despite my deep love of taking photos of flags, I am a bad American.

I do not get all up in arms over the latest political scandals.

I do not look forward to exercising my right to vote.

Let’s be honest, I watch election coverage with a dispassionate view and mostly just laugh at the stupid things people say. Sometimes I make fun of their outfits.

The problem I consistently run into  centers on the wide array of conflicting ideas I have about everything. I am neither liberal or conservative. I am not really moderate either. While I have a lot of opinions about “the issues” I just don’t care what these politicians think about them. I don’t know who I am politically. At this point in my life, I am not sure I care.

On the bright side, I watched coverage of the Iowa caucus and had a lovely time texting asinine comments back and forth with a friend.

I just don’t feel all that strongly about the election process. It seems like a bunch of standing around talking and never saying anything. I watched the debates and was not enlightened one bit about these “pundits” and their stance on the issues.

So, I am a bad American. Perhaps if I were more grateful for my freedom I would be a better citizen. Until that time comes, I am just going to watch the spectacle and go on about my business.

P.S. I know I should be more responsible and take a more civic-minded approach. The problem is… I don’t want to. I do not want to be responsible for making those decisions. I cannot even get information about what these people intend to do. All I ever hear is what they think about their opponents.

P.P.S. I would only be voting for the one I liked the best anyway. I have poor judgment. You really don’t want me choosing people because I think they are having a good hair day. Or do you?

P.P.P.S. The problem is really a lack of education for the voters. It took me a great deal of work to determine what these people see as the future for our country. Do all voters do their homework? Do they even know what they are voting for?

*** Rand Paul is one of my favorites. He seems like such a nice guy. I do not agree with everything about him but I like a lot of his policy ideas.

*** Why is everyone so mean to poor Jeb? I like him. I think I would like to have a conversation with him. He is so dry. I love it.

*** Why is Bernie Sanders so popular all of a sudden? Is it just backlash against Hilary? Or do people really agree with him? Isn’t he kinda old to be president?

*** I want the first female president to be cool as shit. None of those creepy suits. A touch less scary. (But, I love Bill. I don’t know why.)

*** I just wish these guys could come off a little less douchey. (Is that how you spell that?) Seriously, they need to get a grip, stop fighting, and come up with workable solutions.

*** Elections in general just confuse me.

Removing The War Paint

 There is something immensely satisfying about coming home after 13 hours of work and immediately removing all traces of the makeup I adorn myself with. Shedding the white coat and scrubs and realizing no one can force me to wear pants for the rest of the night.

It is such a relief to come home and focus on my real life. Call my family. Fix some dinner. Get ready for bed. I may turn on the TV for a few minutes to scope out the weather and then I am hopefully unwound enough to settle in for some much needed sleep. 

I think I am acclimating to the environment. It could be the 50 degree weather we had the past two days… Lovely. I was not shivering every time I opened the door. 

I try not to think about work too much when I am not there. I am finding the task much easier these days. Figuring out how to let go of the patients when I leave the confines of the hospital is probably going to be the best lesson I can learn. 

Removing the shroud of intense responsibility should feel like a relief. There should be a lightness in my step. It is okay to have a life outside of my career. My job does not have to be the defining characteristic of my existence. I can be so much more. 

Still learning lessons. Still growing up. It is part of what makes life interesting. I am grateful for all the opportunities I have been given. I only have to remember to use them well.